What makes you feel seen?
What makes you feel heard?
What makes you feel listened to?
How do you feel when you meet up with yourself?
When we run into people that pick who we are apart, we dread them, we duck, we hide, we flinch the moment they start talking, we count down to the second they are done and as soon as it is over, we run, barely throwing a goodbye behind us. It is easy to identify this when it’s external but what if we are the ones doing this to ourselves? When we emphasize our flaws, we see ourselves as though we are just our flaws. We are just “terrible listeners”, just “unmotivated”, “just spendthrifts”, just “fill-in-the-blank-space”. No one would want to stand in front of a harsh judge, yet we do that to ourselves with little or no advocacy.
So how can we switch the conversation to become places we run towards not away from? Here’s an example of what I wrote to myself:
“My eyes are gentle,
My skin is compassionate,
My mouth is kind to me,
My hair makes me laugh,
My legs tell me good stories,
My hands pray for me”
Your turn, take 6 things about yourself and let them know how you feel about them. Another exercise you can try: come up with a line that will counter the automatic negative thoughts in defense of yourself. It could be as simple as “I’m trying” or “I am enough”. It will be a journey but from now, you are learning to be your own advocate.