SIORR EPISODE 1: I Want Awkward Sex
Ok, so let me set the stage for this episode, the character I relate to the most in Grey’s Anatomy is April Kepner, for tiny group of people that don’t know her, she’s a redhead, spicy, awkward, smiley character that talks a lot, she gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, she is super sunshiney, annoyingly positive and NICE. Now disregard everything else and focus on the key word here, AWKWARD. April waited till she was hitting 30 before she had sex and when she did, the meltdown was glorious. That sounds like my first time, super awkward.
Have you ever read a novel where they finally get to together and the first time they have sex, everything fits, and its like they both had some instinctual knowledge on what each other liked so much so that they just knew what to do, immediately.
Listen to this
“Tell me what you want”
“Just touch me, it’s that simple” …. (hmmm) We’ll circle back to this later
“Sara,” she whispered, using the original pronunciation of her name. “How did you know?”
Sarah looked down at her reverently. “It felt right.”
“Then you’re the most intuitive person I’ve ever met.”
Sarah grinned proudly and leaned down for one more nip. “I think we just have good chemistry.”
“Off the charts.”
How?!!!!!!!!! So this is an excerpt from “Heart Block” by Mellisa Breyden, her thing is banter. If you love a good tongue in cheek conversation, you’d love her work.
Now back to the story, Sara recently discovered her attraction to women by way of an attraction to her client, amazingly, this feeling was mutual and the scene I read earlier is from their first time together and when I read this, I was like, ‘I CANNOT RELATE TO THIS”. Now the first sentence where she said “tell me what you want” is super relatable, it will be almost sexy, but for the most part, for awkward people, we kind of need that information though. And no, don’t say something cute like “whatever you want, just touch me” No, the anxiety will be glorious.
So this takes us to random things awkward people need you to know:
- The goal is to feel safe
- We are very self conscious
- When we ask what you like, say whatever you like (as stated above) and make us overthink, tell us.
So what will an awkward scene look like? Here’s a post I saw by Hazel Mead called “Things you don’t see in mainstream porn”, I know we aren’t talking porn here, but it kind of fits, I’ve selected some that I would love to read in a book. Here they goes: “communication, laughter (love this two), struggling to take trousers off (lol, this would be funny to read), water breaks, banging heads (ouch), feeling ticklish, changing mind halfway through, awkward position changes, can’t get in the mood, snack breaks, shyness, falling off the bead, leg cramps, intellectual flirting (ooohhhhh) … safe words, lube, etc, etc. wouldn’t you just love to read this? I would!!!
So that’s it for episode one, thank you for listening so far. If you loved it, share it with a friend, drop a voice note or a comment, I’d like to hear what you think. Are you as awkward as I am? I’d love to hear that I’m not alone in this. Talk to you in episode 2!
Listen to the episode here: